I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
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