also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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