True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
