I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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