drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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