I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
