UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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