I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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