If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
