I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
