i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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