Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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