She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
