oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
