Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
