talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize