Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
