I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
