Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
