no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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