its not stalking. its research.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
