thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
