I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
