I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
