tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
