Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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