The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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