We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
