you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
