Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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