They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
