wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
