Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
