What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
