It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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