I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
