Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
