It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
