You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
