Don't you send me to vm
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
