As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
