Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
