kristin has been a bad kristin
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
