I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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