He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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