I wanna passion pit in your ass
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
