This beer is not sobering me up at all
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
