I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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