Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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