oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
