Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
