I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
