he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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