i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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