Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i think my cat just said my name.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
