Your tits are I can't wait for
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
