oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
