don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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