you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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